I just can't figure me out.
Seriously.
There are so many things about me that just don't make sense.
Things like... Why the heck did I say yes to this stupid position at the one job when I really don't like my job there? And why am I putting myself through this?
I have no idea.
Which is why I don't understand myself. 'Course there are other reasons why I don't understand me too.. Just haven't mentioned the lot of them to you guys.. At least not yet.
I hate being stressed like this. I hate being pushed into something. I know I said that in my last post, but it's the honest truth. And I feel like a whiner 'cause this is the only thing I seem to be talking about lately. And maybe it's getting pathetic and repetitive, but not to worry! I'll stop... Soon.
I have made up my mind. I'm quitting the job. Yes, I'm quitting. But seriously, it doesn't feel like I'm giving up. Y'know what I'm saying? So my last day will be June one. Yes, it's not far off. And I'm relieved. Very relieved. I just need to hand in a nice, polite, letter to my boss (he reminded me to do that this morning). Then it's all official. And it'll be a huge load off my mind in the end.
And... I absolutely REFUSE to feel guilty!
Why not? Because I was told that I would only be needed in the position for two, maybe three, months. So I was cool with that. Figured it wouldn't be for long so I could stand to tough it out. Then someone goes and mentions that the lady I'm covering for is going to be gone 'til August one! Are you kidding me?! So that made my mind up for me right then and there.
So when I talked to the other lady just a few days ago she went and put me on a guilt trip. For maybe 30 seconds. If that. She had assumed that I wanted to stay right up until I went back to school in the fall. Um.. Anyone else remember that little saying about making assumptions? So yeah, then she goes and tells me that the other lady (the one I'm covering for, just in case y'all can't keep up :p) is going to be gone until September. Which is where her assumption came in. So now I have to absolutely say: "No thank you!"
Because I'm going back to school in the fall (yeah, you read right) I'd really rather not be stressed out and sleep deprived. I don't know 'bout you guys but I find it difficult to learn anything when I feel all buggered up. Yes, sorry for my language. *shame*
So is it wrong for me to not feel bad about leaving? Or am I pretty well justified?
See why I don't get me?
And that's it. No more on the topic. At least not until I write a celebratory blog on my last day.
