Another one already?

Holy cow! I can't believe I'm already putting something new up. Ah well.

The last one was prompted by a music video. This one is more about me and what's going on with me lately. And there's a lot going on.

So I'll start with my jobs... At Shoppers I'm still working in the post office and I seem to be doing alright there. I'm getting loads of shifts which is awesome and now that Christmas is long gone it's all slowed down a lot. And I mean a lot. But it's still nice because I always get six hour shifts for about 4-5 days a week. So that's great. What isn't so great is Safeway. I get one shift a week. Maybe two. And that's it. Sure I was warned that my shifts in file would get cut. But I had thought that they would schedule me for some cashier shifts to replace the ones I would lose. But no. Nothing. So this development has me pondering where I will apply for a third job. Yes, a third job. No, I'm not crazy.

So I'm going to fire up my laptop and update me resume this afternoon. I keep putting it off. But if I post it here then I really can't now can I?

Also, my cousins have finally asked me to pay rent. I've been waiting for them to bring it up. And I'm not complaining. They're more than fair with everything. And I love them to bits for it. =) It's really great having people that care about me around. I'm reminded to eat if I don't. I'm also reminded (not so gently) to go to bed if I've been at work all night. And it makes me all tingly.

Yeah, so what else is new right now?

Well, my friend - er, former friend - had her baby. A bit early but they're both healthy. And the baby is real cute. Makes me sad that I won't get to see her regularly.

Um, let's see... Oh yeah. Starting tomorrow my workouts begin! I'm gonna keep you posted on how those go. =)

And I suppose that's it for now. So I'm going to go eat some lunch and chill with the fam.

Just some thoughts..

For so many years I've hated who I was. Who I am. Which is terrible. God didn't make a mistake. And for way too long I felt like He did. I always felt like the ultimate odd one out. Not quite pretty enough. Not quite smart enough. I never gave myself enough credit. Some days I still don't. And it's not easy fighting those feelings.

Self esteem is such a huge issue with so many girls. Peer pressure and the media are brutal. And sadly, too little is being done to help. Girls are led to believe that the ideal is to be skinny. But that is so far from reality it's ridiculous. You're absolutely perfect just as you are. When you say something hurtful it chips away at that person's confidence. Eventually nothing is left. This doesn't apply to only girls. Boys are always taught to be tough. It's not cool to cry. So it's no wonder that no one notices when they do.

As a person's confidence diminishes depression often sets in. I'm speaking from experience. There were days that I couldn't stand to get out of bed because of the depression I was in. I was fortunate though because suicide never crossed my mind. No matter how bad it got. I know others aren't quite so lucky.

When you feel that pressing sadness deep inside it takes over everything else. You feel like you don't belong, like maybe everyone would be better off without you.

But it's not true.

And it's so sad that our society today puts so much unfair pressure on the youth. Aren't they supposed to be our future?

All of this came up just after I watched a music video. I strongly recommend that you watch it. The song title may throw you off but the video is a perfect example of what too many girls (and boys) deal with today.
- F*cking Perfect by Pink

Of course there are people who might not agree about so many of the things I have said. But before you decide to go ahead and let me know what you disagree with please remember that these are just my thoughts. And really, it doesn't matter who's right or wrong.

Thanks to everyone who has ever picked me up when I've been down. You might know you did it, but I'll never forget it. I love you guys.