Deep down

Things are pretty hectic right now I have to say. But amazingly enough I have the entire morning off today. Weird! I didn't know what to do with myself.

I got just about everything crossed off my to-do list already which is thrilling. Yes, I know, my life is a party. =D

But while I was doing my laundry, working out and making my lunch my mind kept wandering back to one thing in particular. The army. "Why?" You might ask, well I'll tell you why.

Because I'm joining the army. Yes, yes I am.

I find it exciting, not everyone else does though. But before I even made the decision I thought about it a lot. And I mean a lot. I weighed the pros and cons and in my opinion the pros far outweigh the cons. I mean sure I could get shot or something but in my mind I can only think that if I did get hurt it would be while I was doing something good for my country. And I believe very much that getting a chance to do something like that for my country is a great thing. No one wants to get shot, but hey, it's a chance I'm willing to take.

I still have tons of stuff to find out about the army and whatnot yet, but I'm working on it. I know that they offer great careers and that they'll pay for my university. How cool is that? I also know that I will have to go overseas a few times at least. And surprisingly, that doesn't scare me at all. Not even a little bit.

There are plenty of things I don't understand yet, despite my research, things like rankings and such. 'Cause I know I'd like to go through officer training. I wouldn't mind retiring with a pretty good rank. That would be nice. =)

I know that a lot of friends and family don't really get why I want this so bad, but it's really hard to explain how I really feel about it. To me it feels... Right. That's the only way to put it in words and yet it's so much more complicated than that.

I don't want people to worry about me when I do join, I really want everyone to understand why I'm going to do this and when the time comes I'd love to have everyone I love supporting me. Even if they don't really love my choice. But it's incredibly important to me that I have support from everyone I care about.

And I know I'll do well. I have no idea how I know, but I do.

I'm also not totally sure if this is what God really wants for me, I don't know if I've asked Him about it yet. But something deep down tells me that this is the right choice for me.

And that's pretty much everything I have to say for now. But I'll probably write more about this particular topic again, probably quite a bit in the near future.

Love you guys! =)

Sleep? What's that?

Seriously? I know not of this thing you call 'sleep'.

At least not for a long time. Sleep has become a distant memory it seems.

And I do it all to myself. So .. *smackself* And now back to my blog..

So you know how a while ago things weren't looking so great in the job department and I was looking for a new one to replace Safeway. Well, that's no longer necessary. One of the ladies in my department is going away for surgery and will be gone for a few months. So, guess who said yes to being trained like crazy. You guessed right! Me. And I don't know why I said yes.

I mean sure, I like the people I work with at Safeway but it's a stressful environment and a stressful position and at my age I want to avoid too much stress. It ages people way too fast. And I really don't want to get old just yet. I'm too young.

So this position entails extremely early mornings, a high pace and dealing with people who can't seem to figure things out on their own. I'm not kidding about the last one. I've been warned. A few times. Apparently people forget how to do something and they come running to the people in my department. I'm praying that they'll take it easy on me and try to figure things out on their own.

So far I've had about 16 hours of training and maybe that much sleep all week. I'm not going to complain too much though because it's a job and it's money. Which is a lot more than what some people have. So I should be thankful. But good grief! I'm so nervous about this position it's ridiculous! I hate making mistakes and the last thing I want to do in this department is make a mistake. The whole flipping store depends on this particular department running smoothly. No pressure.

I feel like I'm back in school what with all the notes I've been taking. And I still miss things. But I can't really ask anyone to slow down otherwise we'll be behind. And that's not a good thing. Poop.

Why oh why did I say yes??

I had applied at a nice little pet store and I probably would have gotten the job. In fact, I got a call the other day asking if I was available for an interview. I just about cried 'cause I had to say no and that I was no longer looking for a job. I feel stuck. And that makes me hate this job all the more. As if working nights wasn't bad enough. Now I feel like I'm trapped in it. And it's way to late to change my mind about it. So what the heck am I supposed to do? Just suck it up and pray that I get at least a couple hours of sleep a night? If I'm lucky?

And here I said I wasn't going to complain much. But with a lack of sleep and crazy hormones and a pounding headache all I want to do is complain. Oh poop.

It's hard to be optimistic about this. And usually I'm pretty optimistic. But for some reason I just can't summon up enough energy or desire to even try in this situation. Is that a bad thing?

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And onto other news...

Something happier...

Sort of...

Just last Wednesday I got hit by a deer. There I was, minding my own business and BAM! Bambi comes running up and hits me. What a jerk.

But seriously... I did actually get hit by a deer. But for insurance purposes we'll say that I hit the deer. But we all know the truth. Steph and I had gone out to Riverton to visit the family (we brought a couple friends along for the ride) and we had a super day. Steph and I went and took some pictures, we went to the gym with our mum and had a nice supper with everyone. Then, just before nine o'clock we headed out. Well, barely ten miles out of town I saw the first deer. There's -always- at least two deer. Well, along came Bambi and like I said.. BAM!

I didn't see him 'til he hit me. Stupid deer shattered my driver's window and just about gave us all a heart attack. I scared -him- so bad he shat on my car as he went by. Yuck!

So we came to a full stop pretty quick, I hyperventilated and Steph called Mum. She managed to talk to Mum and calm me down all at once. Amazing! I used several very choice words during all of this.

Finally it dawned on me that sitting on glass is not comfortable and that I could not open my door. So the four of us (our friends tagged along for the ride home too) piled out and got out our phones and iPods to check out the damage. It looked pretty bad, but we really didn't have a lot of light to even see, so what did we know?

Then of course we got the brilliant idea to find stupid Bambi. So running down the highway we went. I almost felt bad for him when we saw what my car had done to him. Almost. But not enough to forgive him for hitting my car. Steph took pictures. It was pretty nasty.

Later I found out that the stupid deer had to be at least a 300 pound buck. Makes me think of that big manly buck from Open Season now that I think about it. Hee hee!

And just the other day I got a call about my car. There was $9000.00 damage on it. Holy smokes!!! Thankfully it's all fixable. Thank you GOD!!!!

People think I should have hit the deer harder or something so I could have written my car off. It is worth over $15000. But honestly, how in the world am I supposed to find the time to even look for a new car? It's a miracle I have the time to write this. I'm actually taking a break from my to-do list right now. Plus, I love my car. It's a good car.

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Now... I do believe that's all I have to say for today. I kind of hope so... I'm having trouble staying awake anymore.

So have a good night...

And keep your eye out for more of those stupid Bambi's. You -don't- want to be next!

Good night!